Having money would be nice if only to buy the cool crap that comes through Dallas-based Heritage Auctions.

A Nov. 6-7 auction is offering a copy of the Nov. 22, 1963 Dallas Morning News signed by John F. Kennedy and believed to be the last autograph he gave. Kennedy signed the paper for a maid at the Texas Hotel in Fort Worth before his fateful trip to Dallas.


“We’ve never seen an item quite as extraordinary as this one,” Director of Music & Entertainment at Heritage Auctions Doug Norwine said. “Not only is it the paper from the morning JFK was assassinated, it has the original motorcade route at the bottom, a very controversial move by the Dallas Morning News, which was a frequent critic of JFK.”

Also for sale is the fedora worn by Jack Ruby when he gunned down Lee Harvey Oswald in the Dallas Police Department basement on Nov. 24, 1963.

An autographed acoustic guitar played by Stevie Ray Vaughan, an autographed Eric Clapton guitar, and rare albums by Bob Dylan and The Beatles are among the other items for sale.

I will play Texas Lotto every Wednesday and Friday between now and the auction and after I win the lottery I will own all of these things. And more. Much. Much. More. Mwwahahaahaa!!!!!!!