American children are morons, relatively speaking. So why does every minivan in town sport a bumper sticker bragging about an honor student?

Kids in China, Canada, Japan, Belgium, and just about every other major country on the planet score better on math and science tests than us dummies here in America, where tweetering, snacking, napping, and playing video games tend to trump actual homework.


Fort Worth, however, is breaking the mold.

Three Fort Worth students were recently honored at the ExxonMobil Texas Science and Engineering Fair, a four-day statewide science competition.

That's Cainan Dorsey second from the left.
That's Cainan Dorsey second from the left.

Mclean Middle School sixth grader Cainan Dorsey earned second place in the physics and astronomy category for his project “The Mpemba Effect and the Possible Applications.”

When I was in sixth grade, my mother insisted that putting warm water in ice cube trays made them freeze faster. I didn’t believe her. It made no sense to me. But being the product of the American school system, I was much too stupid to prove or disprove her theory.

Dorsey learned all about the mpemba effect, which, coincidently, is the analysis of warm water freezing faster than cold water. (Now you tell me.)

Harmony Science Academy 11th grader John Cooper got honorable mention in the earth and planetary science category for his project, “Microphone Array Infrasound Detection of Tornadic Supercells to Determine Velocity and Direction.”

My 11th grade science project was called, “Dirt Clod On A Paper Plate.”

Paschal High School 11th grader Sai Gourisankar nabbed honorable mention in the engineering materials and bioengineering category for “Probing Protein Structure in Unnatural Environments,” which sounds kind of lewd to me but is surely very scientific.