If you doubt that kids today have drive, determination, and boundless energy, look no further than the Arlington teenager who broke into Joe Bailey Junior High School early this week and caused so much damage, investigators thought there was more than one vandal involved. Besides busting out windows, setting off fire alarms, and yanking security cameras from the walls, the teen did a weird triple decker on the front doors of the school – first smashing them, then wrapping the wire from a ripped-out security cam around the handles, and finally squeezing glue into the locks for good measure. That’ll fix those doors!

My favorite part of the story? The way the kid turned himself in. According to reports, he told his parents that he “knew something” about the epic vandalism. He didn’t actually confess until he got to the police station, when armed officers were available to intervene should his parents decide to pound the hell out of him. He’s not dumb, at least.

Hope he gets the treatment he needs. And though I don’t endorse vandalism of any kind, I’d like to suggest that next time he choose milder forms of teenage destruction. Like standing in an empty parking lot, tossing a glass ketchup bottle high into the air, and watching it smash on the pavement. Ketchup bottles look awesome when they splatter on concrete. Or so I’ve heard.


  1. Gluing the locks is a trick right out of the Monkey Wrench Gang handbook. Smart kid, if misguided. We need him on the front lines of the gas drilling war where vandalism of the natural world needs defenders. To quote my hero, Ed Abbey, “The idea of wilderness needs no defense, it needs more defenders.” Those are in short supply in the Fort.