Please stop making fun of celebrities who give their children ridiculous names. They at least have the excuse of living in a fame and money bubble, immune to the consequences of christening an offspring “Apple.” According to the latest Nameberry list of 2012 trending baby names, Joe and Jane Sixpack are also slapping silly titles on their babies. Their excuse –– too much Game of Thrones and Hunger Games –– is far less glamorous.
“Nero”, “Tiberius”, and “Decimus” for a boy? Why not name him “Caligula” so he’ll be popular with the girls and the boys in high school? “Zebulon” is allegedly a name with grand Old Testament roots, but it sounds more like a drought-ravaged planet in an anime flick. I come closer to approving of “Niall” and “Gatsby” because they come from more down-to-earth, straightforwardly dorky romantic inspirations, such as the lead singer of a favorite boy band or the only book you really enjoyed reading in high school. Better yet, just name the kid “John” or “Bob” or “James” and force him to develop an interesting personality to compensate.