This David and Goliath story ended badly.

First off, David forgot his slingshot.

Secondly, his movements were encumbered by a huge goiter on his neck.

Go Henry 300x250

He did bring a six-shooter — but shot all six rounds into his own foot.

Still, ol’ David almost whipped the Giant.

Our hero put up a solid defense, set up the beast with a constant left jab, and delivered staggering blows when it counted.

The Giant was miraculously felled by the little shepherd boy with the star on his hat.

The crowd, whipped into a fury, screamed its approval: “We love you, David! We’re sorry we ever doubted you! Forgive us! Now kill the Giant! Kill! Kill! Kill!”

David looked down at the defeated, sniveling bully and raised his fist to deliver the fatal blow … and … suddenly … dropped dead.

Killed by his own goiter.



  1. Hard to see where things go from here, especially with a trip to Atlanta coming up. 3-4 might still be good enough to make the playoffs if the Cowboys were in the weaker AFC. Too bad they’re in the NFC.

  2. Want to know where things will go from here? Try this little experiment:

    1. Fill an 8-ounce cup with tap water (or any water, or even beer or soda)

    2. Find an incline, it doesn’t have to be steep, as long as it is a measurable incline.

    3. Position the cup of tap water at the top of the incline.

    4. Knock the cup over.

    5. Observe.