The annual Fort Worth Day in the District happens 10am-5pm tomorrow (Sat Sept 28) in the city’s justly famous Cultural Arts District. Ten venues, including the Modern, the Kimbell, and the Museum of Science and History, open their doors for free all day. As you’ve likely heard, this is also opening weekend for the State Fair of Texas. Here’s a handy comparison chart to help you decide where to go tomorrow:

1. The State Fair midway isn’t air-conditioned, and it often smells funny. Cultural Arts District venues are cool as an Inuit come-on in a North Pole singles bar.

2. The State Fair is overpriced. Day in the District is free.

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3. You have 23 more days to catch the Fair. Day in the District won’t come around for roughly 365 more days.

4. The early reviews are right –– the new Big Tex looks funny. Not “funny ha ha,” but “funny weird.”

And can I elaborate on No. 4? The problem with Big Tex isn’t his darker, possibly Latino skin tone. In case you haven’t noticed yet, Texas –– not to mention the Southwest, not to mention the whole country –– has a rather large Latino population. His new “ethnic” hide seems entirely fitting to the world of 2013.

No, Big Tex’s problem is that he looks like he’s “had work done,” and not by a reputable plastic surgeon. He’s got that smooth-browed, wide-eyed, perpetually surprised expression that movie stars of a certain age acquire as they keep fighting for youthful film roles. It’s not a good look for a rugged, down-home Lone Star dude –– unless his name is Matthew McConaughey.