(photo courtesy Panther Island Pavilion web site)

Tubing At Panther Island Pavilion
Just in time for Fourth of July, tubing resumes at Panther Island Pavilion. Now, I bet you’re expecting some smart-ass remark about how weird it is that people voluntarily getting into a river known more for its e-coli than its crystalline purity. Well, if people want to go tubing near downtown, and the Tarrant Regional Water District’s water testing shows it’s suitable for human contact, then party on. So far, none of the tubers from previous years have grown third nipples or lost all their body hair that I’m aware of. Tubing will be available at several events, including Rockin’ the River, Fort Worth’s Fourth, Sunday Funday, and Backwoods Paddlesports at Panther Island Rentals.

Feds Plan To Speak To Dallas Cowboys
The worst part about this news story is that it lumps America’s Team together with those perennial cheaters, the New England Patriots. The Cowboys started using a drone to film practices earlier this year, and the Patriots and New York Giants quickly jumped on board, making it a new trend. Now the Federal Aviation Administration is snooping around.

Miss Manners Should Speak To Dez
Good thing wide receiver Dez Bryant has an agent to do his talking during contract negotiations with the Dallas Cowboys. No. 88 just put his foot in his mouth at the Dirk Nowitzki Heroes Celebrity Baseball Game in Frisco. Bryant got on a microphone and encourage the fans at Dr Pepper Ballpark to encourage two free agent centers to sign with the Dallas Mavericks. Meanwhile, Mavs center Tyson Chandler was standing nearby feeling like last week’s fish. I wonder how Bryant would feel if Chandler asked the crowd to “hit up” Demaryius Thomas on Twitter.

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United Church Of Christ Shuns The R-Word
The Washington Slurs, er, Redskins, just don’t want to let go of their team name despite a growing backlash against the outdated, insensitive moniker. The Oneida Nation recently praised the United Church of Christ for calling on the NFL team to get rid of the “R-word racial slur,” said tribe spokesman Joel Barkin. The church’s more than 1 million members across the country have been asked to boycott the team’s games and merchandise.

The Yards Are Alive With The Sound Of Homers

Since it’s baseball season, I suppose we should mention the Texas Rangers among all these sports items. For a while there last week it looked like the Texas Rangers couldn’t have beaten a local T-ball team after being spotted 12 runs. But the team is back on track, hitting four home runs during last night’s 8-1 win in Baltimore. They’re also spitting and adjusting their crotches better.