(Courtesy Taco Bell)

Taco Bell is giving away free tacos between 2 and 6 p.m. as part of its “Steal a Game, Steal a Taco” promotion with the NBA.

What do you bet there will be lines stretching for blocks at every Taco Bell in town? People will be scrambling to get a free taco ($1.49 retail value) filled with meat that tastes as if a wolf stole a soybean patty from a junior high school cafeteria, swallowed it, ran deep into the woods, and then regurgitated it to feed to its pups, but it fell inside a taco shell instead.

And think about the impact on global warming (I’m not talking about the resulting methane releases of consumers). Think of all those cars idling for hours while people wait in a miles-long drive-thru window line, releasing exhaust fumes into North Texas’ already toxic atmosphere. All for a taco.


Thanks, Taco Bell, for making the End of Days that much closer.

And now for the small print. Taco Bell says “no purchase is necessary.” If you let them up-sell you into buying a drink, they win.

Another rule: “No product substitution.” This means you can’t ask for a Whataburger instead of a taco.


  1. Now that you mention it, I wonder if driving an automobile to pick up a free copy of the Fort Worth Weekly contributes needlessly to global warming.

  2. and also, now that you mention it Johnie, living the only precious, brief time you will ever exist as a Tea-Bagging turn-key in our local jailhouse seems disgusting to normal folks. What do you eat? Why do you hate America? You go to school? You had your shots?

    • Oh, dear Benny. Once you said that I must be employed by the FWS-T. Now you say I’m a jailer. You need shock treatments my man.

      Make America Great Again.