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1) Thursday night, veteran songwriter Todd Snider brings his wryly scathing sense of detail and wordplay to the Kessler Theater (1230 W Davis, Dallas) on Thursday night. Chicago-bred but otherwise itinerant country artist Rorey Carroll and Dallas-based folk rocker Kristy Kruger open the show, which starts at 8pm. Get tickets here. Here’s my favorite Todd Snider song, “Conservative, Christian, Right Wing, Republican, Straight, White, American, Male” in video-of-live-performance form:

 

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2) Also on Thursday: A Ronnie Heart DJ set at MASS (1002 S Main), with a performance from experimental electronic duo, Vogue Machine. Get weird and dance, folks. Cover is probably $5, plus or minus a few dollars, and it’s 21 and up. Here’s a Vogue Machine video:

3) Friday night at Lola’s (2736 6th St): garage rock band Mean Motor Scooter headlines an otherwise punk-oriented show. Cover is $5, doors are at 8, show starts at 9, and it’s 21 and up unless a legal guardian accompanies the minor wishing to see this concert. There are other bands, too: You Vandal is a pop punk band from Gainesville, FL, which is also home to long-running ska punk band Less Than Jake. If You Vandal covered LTJ’s “Jen Doesn’t Like Me Anymore,” I would smile. They play in the 11pm spot, preceded by Despero, who are from Austin and include Good Riddance in their influences; and Dead Words, who start the night off with punk songs about Star Wars and other silly shit. With the exception of MMS, these bands seem to be amenable to the Warp Tour lineups of the festivals first few years, which should appeal to people like me who graduated high school between 1994 and 2000. Here’s a Dead Words video where they’re dressed like the Ghostbusters:

4) Go to Dallas on Saturday if you want to watch some dudes make cool noises on illuminated, knob-studded, electronic machinery – Armoury D.E. (2714 Elm) has a King Camel Locked and Loaded show headlined by Cygnus, with Timothy Punktronica and Squanto filling the 10pm and 9pm slots. The show is 21 and up and free. Cygnus is dope:

5) Holy shit, Gallagher is at Gas Monkey Live(10110 Technology Blvd, Dallas) on Saturday (get tickets here). Seems like he’s been doing his smashing watermelons bit forever, but apparently he’s only been at it for 40 years. Seeing as how he’s booked at a big place like GML, I’d gather that I’m not the only one who fondly remembers his comedy specials on VH1. I hear he’s kind of a cranky conservative crank these days, but the Wikipedia entry about his life and career is sort of interesting, especially the part where he sues his own brother. Anyway, here’s a Gallagher bit from a million years ago about the English language that still makes me laugh:

FULL DISCLOSURE/WRITER BIO ALERT: per editorial suggestion, in addition to writing about music and other shit for the FW Weekly, I am an investor in a venue/bar called Main at Southside, colloquially known as MASS. I also bartend at the Boiled Owl Tavern, a bar that also hosts shows a few times a month, as well as Off the Record, which hosts DJ events, some of which I play records at. And, since we’re on the subject of warning you against what may be perceived as my own icky, unseemly self-promotion and/or conflicts of interest, I have played bass in the following bands for various stretches of time: Oil Boom, Son of Stan, Vorvon, Epic Ruins, Kevin Aldridge and the Appraisers, and Darth Vato. Sometimes I talk about one or more of those entities in this space, but I assure you that it has very little to do with my own vested interests or ego-riffic lapses of nostalgia; it just happens that the aforementioned venues and bands are or have been part of the Fort Worth music scene, and this music scene is something I care very passionately about, having participated in it since 2002. Peace, love, and crabs.

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