The thing about being married to a vegetarian is that there’d better be some good vegetarian options on the menu every time you go out to eat, which means I haven’t had barbecue since the Van Buren administration. With everyone in my house cracking from the Pandemic Pressure ® last Saturday, my wife kindly suggested that maybe my 9-year-old and me could get the mother-hunching hell out of the house, please, and as if by magic, my 2008 Ford Escape piloted itself to Lola’s Trailer Park (2735 W 5th St, 817-759-9100).

As often as I have darkened the West 7th corridor joint, I had never, ever appeared on a Saturday afternoon. First good sign upon our arrival: live music, a sort of C&W-type thing. Not my speed but fine. Second, better sign: Dayne’s Craft Barbecue. And the line was only two deep when A. and I slid on in. I was just on Bud Light Numero Uno when our little pager started to beep. Impressive for a place packed with barbecue-stained mouths.

The problem now is, do we return at noon Saturday, when folk singer-songwriter Tommy Luke and harmonica genius Gary Grammer perform, or swing by on a Friday or Sunday, the two days when Dayne’s whips out its highly raved about brisket burger? And while noon Sunday sounds fun because of Lola’s popular Rock ’n’ Roll Rummage Sale, I kind of like the idea of being able to park hassle-free. And not wait in a line longer than two deep for my Dayne’s fix.

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The best solution is also the worst for my arteries, and that’s going on Friday and Sunday but — but — not ordering the brisket burger twice. Unless it really is that good, then I can’t be responsible for any Pandemic Pressure ®-related conversations between my wife and me about my waistline that may or may not involve numerous, watered-down variations of potty words. Earmuffs!


So if A. and I crash the Trailer Park Friday and Sunday, that will free us up for Doc’s Record Store Day Bash Round 2 at noon Saturday. Four kickass locals — The Cush, The Go-Go Rillas, Meach Pango, and Lorelei K — are set to play Doc’s Records & Vintage (2628 Weisenberger St, 817-732-5455). There is no cover, and there is free beer to be consumed responsibly. #freebeer


On the other side of town during the Sunday rummage sale, Tulips FTW (120 St. Louis Av, 817-367-9798) will be the site of what sounds like a crazy-fun day-to-evening. From 11am to 2pm, singer-songwriter Tom Sless will perform as part of the free Sunday Brunch Market. Kalu & The Electric Joint with Sam Morrow, Trymore MOJO, and Dead Vinyl will follow him from 2pm to 11pm. Tickets for the later show are $12-35.


Before going anywhere these days — the post office, Target, your rays’ house — you might just wanna ask yourself: But is Dayne’s gonna be there? Your whole life revolves around it now, apparently. — Anthony Mariani


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