If you noticed something has been missing today, then you can thank (straight) men’s interest websites like Asylum, which helped instigate a 24 hour blackout against rampant news coverage of a certain self-promoting, bisexual-feigning, blandly-pretty-in-a-“Maxim”-covermodel-kind-of-way actress. Brunette X (as I’ll call her) has always sort of faded into the red carpet for me, so I can’t really say I’m sick of her. Of course, as in that famous experiment where psychologists asked participants not to think of elephants, and then they couldn’t forget them, I’m pondering this pouty female co-star of a hit action franchise based on 1980s toys more than I ever have.
My own fantasy “A Day Without (Fill In Name of Media Whore)” would include a cancer-surviving athlete in a particularly boring international sport (Bob Costas compared being a spectator of it to “watching people exercise”) who takes himself way too seriously; a middlingly talented Irish rock star with a Messiah complex that usually manages to obscure the worthy causes he touts; and, of course, a recently deceased superstar with an unhealthy appreciation for children whose sad life is being milked by the media for every last tawdry drop. These are only three people I’d like a long reprieve from. I could go on and on.