If not for the mammary gland seen ‘round the world, we wouldn’t be enduring tired old acts such as The Who during the Super Bowl telecast.

Ever since Justin Timberlake got grabby with Janet Jackson, prompting a “wardrobe malfunction” in 2004, the Super Bowl halftime show has trotted out one tame geezer after another.

The fairer sex has unfairly been banned for life.

VITA 300x250

Post Nipplegate, Paul McCartney crooned in 2005. The Rolling Stones creaked in 2006. Prince kicked ass in 2007, but then the yawn fests continued with Tom Petty in ’08 and Bruce Springsteen in ’09.

Where’s Lady Gaga? Beyonce? Amy Winehouse? Taylor Swift (ha, just checking to see if you’re still paying attention)?

This year we get a band that released a handful of great songs 40 years ago but never measured up to their rock contemporaries. Of course, they’re still alive, so that works in their favor.

Let’s see, there’s “My Generation,” “The Kids Are Alright,” “Pinball Wizard,” “Won’t Get Fooled Again,” and “Who Are You.” That’s probably what they’ll play in a rushed, 12-minute medley.

I’d rather hear “Listening To You,” “Mobile,” and “Behind Blue Eyes,” and a big finish with “Love Reign O’er Me.”

Actually, I’d rather hear Lady Gaga or Amy Winehouse but they have bosoms, which might somehow get exposed and END LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!

Everyone knows the economic downturn started shortly Jackson’s nipple was seen.

But no one cares if Roger Daltrey’s nipples are glimpsed.

Here’s the band’s version of “Reign” from the Live AID Concert in 1985: