As he choked down handfuls of aspirin in the stall of a Fort Worth high school bathroom, 16-year-old Caleb felt precisely nothing.
Beaten by bullies and betrayed by close friends, persecuted by family members and disappointed with counselors, the sophomore couldn’t think what else to do. He was bisexual and he knew it.
The problem was that everyone else seemed to know it too.
By the time Caleb saved up enough allowance money to buy $30 worth of painkillers at the grocery store, he felt nothing but alone. Suicide seemed like the only option left to him.
“I just cracked under pressure,” said Caleb, who asked that his real name not be used. “I couldn’t feel anything. It was horrible. I was tired of being a pain on everyone else … . Next thing I know I’m on a gurney having my stomach pumped.”
The suicides and suicide attempts of kids like Caleb have fueled a national movement to address bullying in schools, gradually eroding an old-school mentality that shrugs off harassment among children as an unavoidable, even necessary, rite of passage: Suck it up. Fight back. Get over it.
With repeated cases of teenagers hanging themselves in suburban bedrooms, it becomes harder to look away. Bullying transcends the boundaries of race, gender, and creed, but abundant research shows that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) students suffer extreme harassment with greater frequency than all other student groups. They are four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers, and nearly all of them –– 86 percent –– experience abuse.
Few school districts in Texas have made any attempt to address bullying of gay and lesbian students specifically, but Cowtown is one of them, expanding its anti-bullying policy last year to include specific protections for LGBT students.
A year later, the district’s efforts to actually enforce that policy are getting mixed reviews from the gay community.
Seven teachers and school staffers interviewed by Fort Worth Weekly said that continued incidents, some of them instigated by principals, show that district officials are still ignoring LGBT students’ requests for help.
Many of their complaints were about officials who not only don’t offer help for such students, but who actively steer them away from LGBT support groups. One principal, they said, has worked to marginalize the gay student group on his campus — possibly in violation of federal anti-discrimination laws. One gay teacher was put on administrative leave after citing a student for in-class gay-bashing. And a school finance officer sent an e-mail to all district employees calling homosexuality an “abomination” that the district should not encourage. Gay teachers were incensed that there were no public repercussions for her action.
It isn’t that the district actively obstructs gay-friendly policies, but rather that it’s allowing them to die by inaction, said Bernardo Vallarino, a gay Fort Worth teacher.
“They fear a backlash from the community, from religious or political groups that might find it inappropriate,” he said. “Maybe the fear is well-founded.”
[pullquote_right]“The community has a right to its own cultural norms, but when they become a part of a larger institution — a school, for example — they have to make sure that other cultural groups are protected as well.” [/pullquote_right]Teachers and administrators don’t have to approve of homosexuality to enforce anti-bullying policies that protect students, Vallarino said. “The community has a right to its own cultural norms, but when they become a part of a larger institution — a school, for example — they have to make sure that other cultural groups are protected as well.”
Vallarino and other openly gay teachers and district employees agree that the district does deserve some credit. But they want the new policy to be enforced with the kind of far-reaching diversity training recommended by several national groups dedicated to ending abuse and suicides among teenagers.
That enforcement will happen, said Jon Nelson, a member of LGBT group Fairness Fort Worth, which helped the city reform its employee policies following a disastrous, nationally reported police raid in 2009 on the Rainbow Lounge, a gay club.
The city’s policy has become a blueprint for the rest of the state, said Nelson, who is now working with school officials to similarly reform the district’s policies.
Bringing an LGBT-friendly attitude to the district will be more complex, but Cowtown is already ahead of the curve, he said.
“Fort Worth is ground zero … . Black bullying, Hispanic bullying, bullying of girls –– a policy must take into account all of those groups,” Nelson said. “But it’s important to remember that you and I would not be having this discussion if gay and lesbian kids had not been killing themselves.”
Several school districts in Texas, including Fort Worth, already have policies prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation, but few have taken the extra step of protecting nontraditional expressions of gender, which can be anything from a boy wearing nail polish to a girl with a crew cut.
That’s what the Fort Worth school board did last summer, when it expanded the district’s anti-bullying policy to prohibit harassment based on “gender identity and expression,” possibly in an attempt to keep pace with the city.
The handful of district officials who returned phone calls said they are committed to backing up their new policy despite inevitable opposition.
Schools trustee Carlos Vasquez, who is gay, said he received several hateful comments after the school board passed the new policy. He defended the district’s efforts on behalf of gay teens.
The board’s action “made a huge difference,” Vasquez said. “I hear the stories about bullying firsthand … . We have to be given credit for taking some steps to address these issues.”
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The things that human beings do to one another in search of approval, inclusion and popularity are absolutely despicable.
And these selfsame despicable bullies grow up to be disgusting, asinine Texas rednecks. They are everywhere in Fort Worth. There are too many to name, hide from, reconcile with, confront or change.
The culture of Texas is broken, it is based on hate-filled conservative beliefs that refuse to tolerate anyone who isn’t white, conservative, Christian (or so they claim), privileged, pro-military and pro-gun.
There is no hope.
Excellent story Andrew. So glad you are reporting and writing for us. Fort Worth ISD has been lauded nationally for its “progressive” policies re LGBT students and teachers, but policies without training and enforcement are as worthless as the paper they are written on. These students and teachers deserve to have the anti-bullying and anti-discrimination policies that are on the books brought to life. These are our families, our friends, our children. We cannot afford to wait. During the black civil rights movement, the mantra was
“justice delayed is justice denied.” It is no less true for our LGBT brothers and sisters.
Excellent article! Being a FWISD teacher, I whole-heartedly agree there needs to specific training of ALL district employees on LGBT students and the life-threatening issues they face. I have sat through countless district trainings on all sorts of topics, this one needs to be a priority! How many more suicides or attempted suicides will it take before people recognize the severity of this issue? We need to hold the district accountable for actively enforcing their own policies, just as I am held accountable for teaching state-standards in my classroom!
“The board’s action “made a huge difference,” Vasquez said. “… We have to be given credit for taking some steps to address these issues.” What? What has happened to you Carlos? What are you thinking? You passed a policy but failed to ensure its enforcement. How does that help anyone? The Board continues to ignore those who cry out for help. You vilify and persecute those who come forward with complaints. You have lost touch with those who once looked with hope at the old Carlos Vasquez’s desire for reform. When you decided to run for office, you turned your back on the employees and students who needed you. Where were you when Sylvia Reyna removed Sharon Herrera from her position? When Reyna dismantled the program Herrera fought to build? And why is Reyna now refusing comment? Because the failure of the INOK Program is BY DESIGN. Katherine Everest (who herself allegedly lives in the closet) is completely ineffective and subservient to Reyna’s direction. Why? Because Herrera was effective, beginning to make a HUGE difference, and dared testify truthfully at the Palazzolo hearing (a legal and financial drain on FWISD which continues). Hundreds of students and teachers came to her with complaints. Herrera had to be stopped.
Your handling of Blanca Salinas has been reprehensible. Where is your stand on the Dunbar Principal? The Dunbar teacher who locked the student in the closet? The student suicide at Heights? FWISD needs you to re-assert your leadership Carlos. You are “out” and can thus be a tremendous force for change – unlike the two Board members who remain hypocrites in the closet.
Why does this have to be about gay students being bullied? If you stop bullying, you stop gay AND straight kids from being bullied. Kids get bullied for their lack of fashion, being poor, dirty hair, funky hair styles, being overweight, too skinny, being a Christian, Muslim, hating Obama, loving Obama, etc. It gets tiresome hearing about gays being bullied as if they are the only one enduring this problem. Just stop bullying altogether.
In our world today, when was the last time you heard on the news of a kid being bullied about wearing dirty clothes, being homeless, being too skinny, etc., attempting or committing suicide? When was one of those kids ever beaten mercilessly and left for dead on a fence? Or robbed, beaten and/or killed because they walked in a specific district of town? You are correct…bullying is bullying and it is an equal opportunity offender! I think we continue to hear about gay teens being bullied and committing suicide, because this is what is being reported. Just recently, before the movie “Bully” came out, we didn’t hear much about two straight pre-teens taking their own lives in OK! The father of a young victim of suicide, Ty Smalley, came to my school to speak to our students about his son’s tragedy. I never knew about his son, and I doubt not too many other people did either, until that moment. A couple of weeks later, I saw the movie and there he was; he had a story and so did his 11 year old son, Ty, who endured bullying for many years, before taking his own life. The hardest thing to hear in person and in the movie is when Mr. Smalley said “My son will always be 11 years old”! The dad is now going around telling others about “Stand for the Silent” a non-profit, organized by other students to fight bullying in our country. You hear about this now, because this man and these students were willing to step up and fight out loud! A senseless death is just that…a senseless death! I agree, If more people would report bullying; whether it is LGBTQ or straight, black or white, young or adult…anything…something just might be done to stop this insidious act of injustice and diabolical behavior. WE NEED MORE TRAINING IN OUR SCHOOLS!
Herrera helped me when I was suicidal. Thank God she is openly gay, otherwise I would not be here today. Many of our students look up to her because she is openly gay and understands this generation better than any board member or upper management employee. She truly serves our children, gay or straight, brown or black, poor or rich…she gets it. She served countless employees as well, degree or no degree, she is for the people- ALL PEOPLE! Just read her email quote- SHE WALKS HER TALK! She puts her job on the line to save others. She helped my daughter overcome the abuse by her FWISD teacher and a good teacher friend of mine that was being abused by her coworker just three months ago.
Well here we are still at it. The politicians are caving, children are dying, and we are not serving children. I am a gay teacher in an adjoining district that actually serves Fort Worth students. I have found and been active on this issue for over two years. When I was bullied and harrassed, NOTHING was done. When I asked my principal to stop bullying of a student, NOTHING was done. Texas schools DO NOT CARE if our children suffer. They are afraid of the First Baptist Church, and the local Catholc dioces. Let children suffer as long as we don’t have to step up and be called queer lovers.
Thankfully we have a few brave souls that have out their jobs and lives at risk to protect these people. Sadly it isn’t the school board or the adminstration.
Well here we are still at it. The politicians are caving, children are dying, and we are not serving children. I am a gay teacher in an adjoining district that actually serves Fort Worth students. I have found and been active on this issue for over two years. When I was bullied and harrassed, NOTHING was done. When I asked my principal to stop bullying of a student, NOTHING was done. Texas schools DO NOT CARE if our children suffer. They are afraid of the First Baptist Church, and the local Catholc dioces. Let children suffer as long as we don’t have to step up and be called qu**r lovers.
Thankfully we have a few brave souls that have out their jobs and lives at risk to protect these people. Sadly it isn’t the school board or the adminstration.
Yes, here we are again! How many more stories of fallen students committing suicide, before something is seriously done to change this idiotic ass-backwards mentality at FWISD or even our country! I continue to find it disheartening that it appears we move three steps back, instead of foward! FWISD has always put words on paper to make the real issues seem like they are being addressed. But what they always fail to do is follow through when shit really hits the fan! Sure, come up with a fancy little glossy manual for INOK, along with the fancy little sayings by poets. I call it nothing but a little fancy piece of crap! And Katherin Everest is the creator of said crap! Wake up Dansby! If you continue to run your district in this manner, it won’t be long before we also see your name plastered on the news with the caption “Fired as Superintendent”! I laughed when I heard on Channel 5 that Arlington ISD was considered the “meanest district in FTW”! Really FTW??? Of course, our wonderful biased media would never say anything like that about FWISD, b/c they all protect the district…always have and always will! In my opinion, FWISD is by far the meanest…filled with bullies from the top down, who are self-deceptive…who believe that FWISD doesn’t have any issues of bullying, much less bullying of LGBTQ!
So I ask the question. What is it really going to take to wake up this district to address the issues that plague our students and even our employees? Is this going to be like the city does, when they decide that too many fatalities on an intersection finally deserves a freaking stop light? Are we going to need a certain number of student deaths due to bullying, before this district decides to really do something about it and not just keep wasting money on bogus anti-bullying initiatives? Pee or get off the pot FWISD…people are going to die, if not already, if you continue to drag your feet! WE ARE NOT GOING AWAY!!! As long as we have the breath still in us…the fight for justice will remain, and our noses can still smell your rot from a mile away!
People have to understand that LGBT bulling has an element that is overseen that no other kind of bullying issue has. — A student who is bullied because he is or may appear LGBT will think VERY, VERY , VERY hard before approaching an adult with a complain, they know that they are going to get bible verses thrown at them, be ignored, or their parents be called before anything worthwhile for them is done. Any other king of bullying the student knows that they can go to any adult and the matter most likely will be taken care promptly and without any major issue or religious lecture. But A LOT individuals , uncluding administrators still don’t get it, adults in schools need to be educated about LGBT students so LGBT students can approach any adult with with their concerns as they can with any other bullying issue without hesitation. LGTQ bullying will be be considered to be at same level as any other kind of bullying ONLY when this is done and is properly implemented . Also, the LGBT community purchased the GLSEN “safe space kids” and were delivered to Ft. Worth ISD several months ago with the promisse that they were going to be disstributed… Either FT. Weekly got it wrong or someone is not telling the truth!!!
FWWeekly didn’t get it wrong…FWISD and Kathryn E are liars! The packets were purchased and ready for distribution, but they made it seem like they hadn’t and that is all they were waiting on to implement them. It’s another way for them to control what happens and when it happens. It’s all smoke and mirrors!
We cannot expect individuals on the Board and in Administration to be responsible enough to safeguard children and staff when they themselves fear personal discovery. Pass all the policies you want – it is a smoke screen. FWISD needs this program back under someone who is out and unaffraid – namely Sharon Herrera. The biggest problem is the Board who are nothing but a bunch of self-serving politicians whose biggest concern is getting a school named after them. They should be encouraging students and staff to come forward instead of trying to constantly cover-up and punish those who do. How else do these injustices continue? This is not the first scandal directly tied back to Sylvia Reyna and Katherine Everest. Dansby needs a Board he can work with. They all need to resign.
Dansby always blaming the Board (or someone else) for his inability or unwillingness to make sound decisions is getting old. It may have been Reyna (how is she still here?) who removed Sharon, but Dansby said he would reinstate her and then failed to do so. Most of us work in fear.
Why is this always end up being about Sharon Herrera? She is not all that you all think she is. Talk about self-serving. I don’t doubt her heart is inthe right place, but she likes the power and that is the only reason she liked her old position, so she can have the power to cross whoever she wanted and step on others on her way. DAnsby is never going to reinstate her in her old position. she has burned too many people, in cluding Dansby. She pretending she is working hard in student engagement becuase that is the only positiion this district will let her have, instead of firing her! She may have helped some people when she was in her previous position, but don’t be fooled, she did it to bring bigger people down to make herself look like a hero, which she is far from being. I for one am glad she is where she is where she doesnt have anymore power to screw with people. hopefully she will get tired soon and and leave the district or better, get fired or demoted again! If people only knew the real you Sharon herrera they woudn’t be singing your praises.
wow “Questioning” or should I say “Kathryn E”…your grammar is bad! You need to stick to counseling!
It never ceases to amaze me – the lengths to which the power elite in FWISD will go to trash a person in order to preserve their own twisted house of cards. This is truly one ISD which should be dismantled from Board to Directors. This comment from “Questioning” was obviously from someone threatened by Herrera’s effectiveness – Reyna, Everest, or even more unethical – Kaufman or Barbara Griffin. Dansby would do well to look closely at those surrounding and advising him. Chapa is a direct conduit of information to Reyna and MJ. As Superintendent, Dansby will never be effective until he brings in his own people. Take another lesson from the new Super in DISD.