Are you willing to exploit your pet for cash and some face time on television?

If so, you have until March 30 to teach your pet a stupid trick, if you want to be on The Late Show with Dave Letterman. For those unfamiliar with Letterman’s “Stupid Pet Tricks” segment, watch this and this. The audition will be held at Frank Kent Hyundai (9ooo West Freeway, FW), from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. If selected, you and your exploited pet will get a free trip to the Big Apple, plus payment for appearing on the show. Anyone who wants to watch the auditions is welcome to show up and cheer on the pets. The Fat Truck gourmet food truck will be on hand, in case you get a hankering for Latin/Asian fusion.

There is no charge to audition. Any animal is welcome, but each pet will have to be caged, kenneled, or leashed until its time in the spotlight. Pet owners are responsible for cleaning up any “accidents” that might occur on the floor. And the organizers added these disclaimers: “To qualify, a trick must be fun, unique, and safe. And animals must perform voluntarily and be treated humanely.” Check out CBS 11’s official Stupid Pet Trick audition notice for more details.