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SEASON TWO OF TRUE DETECTIVE WAS A BLOODY MESS, BUT AT LEAST THE LOVELY RACHEL MCADAMS DIDN'T DIE. (photo courtesy of True Detective)

Fort Worth Firefighter Arrested In Sex Sting
Burning fires of passion swept over a Fort Worth firefighter, who’s been arrested for an alleged involvement in using the internet to solicit teenage girls for sex. Eric Robert Anderson, 31, who is married, is among the 18 suspects rounded up so far in a Johnson County sting operation. Anderson faces a second-degree felony (and lot of bad puns).

Small Boy Found Wandering On Field In Jerry World
Nobody has been this confused on the AT&T Stadium football field since Dez Bryant tried to remember his pass routes during his rookie season. Now it appears a North Dallas day care center took some of its willful charges to the stadium for “Kids Day” and forgot one of the little scamps. Stadium security discovered the boy, who was given a football and allowed to turn on a police car’s lights and siren so all ended well. Except for the daycare center that forgot him. They have some ‘splainin’ to do.

Cowboys Found Wandering On Field In San Diego
The Chargers extinguished any Super Bowl dreams the Dallas Cowboys might have had during a 17-7 thumping last night in San Diego. The Cowboys looked scattered, inattentive, bored, hungry, and wondering why in the hell they even bothered to watch the game – oh, wait, that was me. Experts are undecided whether this exhibition loss will dash the Cowboys’ playoff hopes, or whether America’s Team will shrug it off.

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Happy Birthday To Social Security
Today is the 80th birthday of the Social Security Administration. President FDR signed the Social Security Act into law on this day in 1935 helping many people make it through old age without having to eat cat food. Here’s a speech expected to be given by SSA’s best friend during today’s birthday party: “Well, old buddy, you made it to 80. You done good by a lot of people. Unfortunately, the federal government has been stealing your body parts while you weren’t looking and slowly sucking all your blood. I’m surprised you didn’t feel that. Anyway, you’re not expected to live long. You look like hell. Young Americans will be sad to see you go. Let ’em eat cake.”

Wow, More Roads Closed This Weekend
This might be hard to believe but highway construction projects are shutting down I-35 this weekend while crews tear down the NE 28th St. bridge. Oh, and eastbound Loop 820 will be closed as well near I-35. If you enjoy feeling stuck, deadlocked, and frustrated but don’t feel like driving on I-35, just stay home and watch True Detective reruns. I’ve heard better dialogue in Steven Seagal movies.

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