Emily Heller does standup at Amphibian Stage Productions 8/22-8/26

1) Comedian and writer Emily Heller is at Amphibian Stage Productions (120 S Main) this week, doing a show every night through Saturday (which culminates with a free after party Saturday night at Republic Street featuring performances from Sealion, Loafers, I Happy Am, and Jesse Gagewho’s this week’s music feature, incidentally). Heller has done standup on a bunch of TV shows, including Comedy CentralLate Night with Seth Meyers Conan O’Brien Presents: Team CocoThe Meltdown with Jonah and KumailJohn Oliver’s New York Stand-Up ShowMaronInside Amy Schumer@midnightChelsea Lately, so obviously, if you’re into resumes, hers is packed tighter than an overachieving Neely School graduate with designs on holding public office before the age of 40. Wow is that a cumbersome simile! Anyway, each night, there’s a pre-show in the Amphibian’s lounge with music provided by Dreamy Life that starts at 7, and then the jokes start at 8pm with local opener Christina Hughes on Thursday, Linda Stogner and De De T on Friday, and Paulos Feerow on Saturday. I think you should go tonight (Thursday), because tickets are only $14; on Friday night they’re $18, and on Saturday night they’re $25. Here’s Emily Heller telling jokes on Conan from January:

2) Lot of shit going on Friday! Calhoun, who you can read about in this week’s cover story, is releasing their new, long-playing vinyl circle, Football Night in America at MASS (1002 S Main), and while they are a quality draw in their own right, the rest of the bill is solid top to bottom: local Smiths fans VVOES, Dallas’ ’80s-copping synth pop siren Rat Rios, and Austin-based “psychedelic witch wave” band Ruby Fray are the supporting bands, and cover to the all-ages show is $10. I’ve never been to a SoFar Sounds show, but this video of Rat Rios doing one suggests that they are fun:

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3) Lola’s (2736 6th St) Friday night show is an oldie but a goodie: Zeppelin Night feat. Big Mike and Friends. Big Mike gets the Led out starting at 10pm, and they’ll probably play until Lola’s makes people leave at 2am. The show is 21+, and cover is $10. This video is kind of a classic: Big Mike and Friends doing a Zeppelin Night at the Moon Bar (RIP) from almost exactly seven years ago, playing my favorite Zeppeling song:

4) Also, if you want to see bands early in the evening, Dreamy Life Records and Music, located in the Fairmont Community Library (1310 W Allen) has a free show that starts at 7, showcasing Dallas’ Matthew J and the Science, local rock dudes Mean Motor Scooter, and a band from New York called BIG HUGE. Congrats to me – I deleted a bad Trump joke to go with that band’s name. MJ&TS are at 7, BIG HUGE are at 8, and MMS are at 9. Cover is free, but it would be nice if you put $5 in the jar for the traveling band.

5) MASS (1002 S Main) turns into a cowpunk corral on Saturday night with Holy Moly kicking the night off and Vandoliers stomping it into the sunset… Or sunrise, because this show takes place at night and… fuck it. I’m full of clumsy metaphors this week, and that one pretty much slide-tackled me. Doors are at 8, the show starts at 9, advance tix are $10, and day-of-show they’re $15. Bring your friends to this and see if y’all can clean out MASS’ entire beer supply! Those Lone Star tallboys don’t drink themselves! Just be sure to get and Uber or a Lyft after, because even peak hour charges are cheaper than a DWI. This is another SoFar show starring the Vandoliers:

FULL DISCLOSURE/WRITER BIO ALERT: per editorial suggestion, in addition to writing about music and other shit for the FW Weekly, I am an investor in a venue/bar called Main at Southside, colloquially known as MASS. I also bartend there, as well as the Boiled Owl Tavern, a bar that also hosts shows a few times a month. And, since we’re on the subject of warning you against what may be perceived as my own icky, unseemly self-promotion and/or conflicts of interest, I play bass in the following bands: Oil Boom, Son of Stan, Darth Vato, and maybe, once again in the hypothetical future, EPIC RUINS. Sometimes I talk about one or more of those entities in this space, but I assure you that it has very little to do with my own vested interests; it just happens that the aforementioned venues and bands are part of the Fort Worth music scene, and this music scene is something I care very passionately about, as I have been part of it for the past fifteen years.