Nic Armstrong and the Thieves bring their throwback Brit-rock to MASS on Thursday 12/7.

1) After watching Fort Worth-bred standup comedian Shane Torres’ “Defense of Guy Fieri” bit during his September appearance on Conan, I found myself suddenly sheepish about ever making fun of the bleach-headed, flame-shirted, emissary of Flavortown; Torres’ arguments are sound, and he’s also fucking funny, which is why he’s headlining a three-night run at Hyena’s (425 Commerce) this week. Heads up: Thursday night’s show is free and starts at 8:30. Friday and Saturday nights shows range from $12-$17, and he does one at 8:30 and another at 10:30 both nights; all four shows are on sale at Prekindle. Here’s that Guy Fieri bit:

2) MASS (1002 S Main) brings Austin-by-way-of-England Nic Armstrong and the Thieves on Thursday night, and frankly, you don’t want to miss this show. He and his band play throwback rock ’n roll that nods to the Kinks, the Who, early Stones, and all the other canonical British Invasion bands that find their ways on to Wes Anderson movie soundtracks and make you cry at certain times, or when the weather is particularly autumnal or all the other Wes Anderson hallmarks you may encounter while going about your daily life. Cut Throat Finches open, and they’re about to drop a new album that, from a conversation I had with frontman Sean Russell, sounds like it’s full of angsty, agitated rock songs inspired by the reality TV show that American life has become. Doors are at 8pm, it’s 18+, and cover is only $5. You really ought to turn up for this one, friends!


3) Audio engineer and Siberian Traps drummer Peter Wierenga had most of his musical equipment and recording gear stolen from his house last month, so the fine folks at Dreamy Life Records and Music (1310 W Allen) are turning this week’s Friday night happy hour into a benefit for him, with performance by the Hendersons and Siberian Traps. Peter will be working hard for your money, in other words. The show starts at 6 and it’s free to attend, but help a brother out and donate some money to help him get his livelihood back. May all gear thieves be punished in a special part of hell. Here’s a Siberian Traps video that’s heavy on nostalgic, Super 8 imagery:

4) Killer Bill Alert! Division Brewing’s (506 E Main, Arlingfun) Saturday night show features three bands characterized by dark, ethereal, chilly romanticism: moody trip-hop duo Signals and Alibis headline, with the Siouxie-influenced Paper Saints in the middle and the angsty, angular, chorus-pedaled, post-punk vibes of Sub-Sahara in the opening spot. The show is 21+, and I don’t know what the cover is, but you should bring money anyway, because this is America, and money is what opens doors here. Here’s a Signals and Alibis video I like:

5) Lola’s Saloon has a sort of eclectic lineup on Saturday: funky reggae party band Neptune Locals is in the main slot, with ska-punk from How’s My Driving and heavy, knotty, instrumental post-punk from the Waco-based Zombie Western filling in the two warm-up positions. The show is 18+, cover is $10, doors are at 8pm, and Zombie Western starts at 9:30.

FULL DISCLOSURE/WRITER BIO ALERT: per editorial suggestion, in addition to writing about music and other shit for the FW Weekly, I am an investor in a venue/bar called Main at Southside, colloquially known as MASS. I also bartend at the Boiled Owl Tavern, a bar that also hosts shows a few times a month. And, since we’re on the subject of warning you against what may be perceived as my own icky, unseemly self-promotion and/or conflicts of interest, I play bass in the following bands: Oil Boom, Son of Stan, Darth Vato. Sometimes I talk about one or more of those entities in this space, but I assure you that it has very little to do with my own vested interests; it just happens that the aforementioned venues and bands are part of the Fort Worth music scene, and this music scene is something I care very passionately about, as I have been part of it since 2002.