Guess who?
No Shit Texans Worried About Economy — They Get All Their “Info” from Faux News

Based on a new Texas Lyceum poll, Texas voters are worried about the national economy.

What the poll does not indicate is the degree to which they’re jealous that the surging economy is not happening under a Republican president’s “leadership.”

Was this poll conducted at the nearest Redneck Haven or at a church? Because the national economy is humming. Under President Joe Biden, it’s been adding more than 400,000 jobs per month for — get this — 11 straight months. And when Grandpa Joe took office, more than 18 million Americans were receiving unemployment. That number is less than 1.5 million now, the lowest it’s been since 19-freaking-70.


The president also has already lowered the Donald Trump deficit by more than $350 billion, and the country is on pace for the largest deficit reduction in history this year, $1.3 trillion. And while no one likes paying more at the pump or at Kroger, Biden and his $2,000 checks are not to blame, contrary to all the warped right-wing talking points — inflation is wracking the globe. Instead of getting all huffy and puffy about federal monies that helped millions of families stay afloat post-lockdown, how about directing some of that macho angst at the GOP’s $2 trillion in billionaire tax cuts and $9.1 trillion in defense spending?

Now, here’s your gentle reminder that the GOP has successfully kept the minimum wage at $7.25 instead of $15, insulin at $1,200 instead of $35, and paid leave at zero weeks instead of 12. The party of family values drives a hard bargain for actual families.

In defense of the polled Texans, seemingly no one who doesn’t have to read/watch the news for a living knows how great the economy is doing. Every single mainstream media outlet is downplaying Grandpa Joe’s success for one reason and one reason only: clicks. From The New York Times to the Washington Post and from CNN to Faux News, CBS, ABC, NBC, NPR, and every shop in between, the editors and producers know that nothing sells like a carnival sideshow, that good news doesn’t move the needle, and a deplorable sideshow is exactly what the anti-Biden Republican party has become, a spineless, petty, gigantic talking dildo that wants to tell you who you can love, who’s allowed to vote, what books you can read, and how much it’s all going to cost you.

You don’t think the Times misses its Trump Bump, back when readership increased 66% just by mentioning that scumbag’s name or dissecting every one of his idiotic, barely coherent tweets? The Times pines for all that traffic, for sure, and they’re not the only msm outlet wishin’ and hopin’ for Dear Leader’s return to relevance. (How’d that Truth Social thing work out? Probably just as awesome as Trump University, Trump Airlines, Trump: The Game, Trump Taj Mahal, Trump Style, Trump Mortgage, Trump Steaks,, Trump Tower Tampa, Trump Vodka … you get the point.)

There’s a reason we all slow down to rubberneck, and for once-respectable journalism institutions to pimp a diseased old fucktard and his maniacal, racist, opportunist, populist beliefs in deference to righteousness for a quick buck — or an even quicker click — shows just how far we’ve fallen as a nation. I say, bring on the Christian caliphate the Republicans want, where you can go to jail for getting your girlfriend pregnant, where students are forced to read the Bible, and where interracial marriage is verboten. It’s about time we got rid of the delusional, evil right wing once and for all. We normal, sane, equality-minded people will take the East and West coasts, and all the gun-loving, Bible-thumping wackos can have the Midwest and the South. Something to keep in mind: High-tax blue states subsidize low-tax red states — “in a big way,” the AP says. Gilead would shrivel up in a month.

I stopped reading the Times’ front section — and pretty much every other msm outlet other than maybe The Atlantic and The New Yorker — after all the “bUt Her eMaiLs!” bullshit in 2016 that will go down as having changed the course of American history for the worse. And all for stupid, ridiculous clicks. And to entice knuckle-dragging readers — now that the Times et al. have alienated the average progressive subscriber, they’re leaning hard to the right to stay in the black. The Star-T is doing the same thing. It’s not quite as big a stretch, since we live in ruby-red Fort Worth, but it’s worth noting next time you come up against a paywall when you just want to read Mac Engel’s latest take on Wrestlemania or whatever.

The Lyceum poll sought to understand voters’ outlook into the next decade. Most of them are upset with the country’s current trajectory — and I highly doubt it’s because the Orange Stain is not in cuffs yet and behind bars like he should be, which upsets me to no end — and most think their precious children will be worse off. As P.O.’ed as Texas voters are with our country, the Texas Tribune says they’re just peachy with how the state is doing, and if a place where outlawing abortions, banning books, and denying science passes as A-OK, you know the pollsters were just stopping random truckers at the nearest Buc-ee’s, because not all of Texas is nearly as backward.

The fact that the polled voters are not as worried about the Texas economy as much as the nation’s can be read as “the beginning of a political blame game that seats current problems in Washington rather than in Austin,” the Texas Tribune says, “and [is] harder on the Democratic government there than on the Republican government in Texas.”

The size of polled Texans who said the economy is worse off than it was a year ago was two-thirds, and only half as many said the state economy was suffering.

“The glaring disconnect between reality and how the press depicts White House accomplishments means a key question lingers: Why is the press rooting against Biden?” asks media watchdog Eric Boehlert. “Is the press committed to keeping Biden down so a Trump rematch will be close and ‘entertaining’ for the press?”

Gosh. No doubt. Generating clicks is so much more important than preserving democracy, because we all know that on one side we have truth, justice, and equality, and on the other, we have “God,” guns, and a lust for a caliphate ruled for all eternity by the shameless, embarrassing, grifting Trump family. *checks passport, looks for jobs and housing in New Zealand*

Since the do-nothing Dems will never get their heads out of their asses long enough to take any real action, let’s just skip to the part where Biden loses to Trump in 2024 because most red states have already rigged the electoral apparatus and, once again, because the do-nothing Dems just let it happen. (Thanks, Grandpa Joe, for keeping your party in line. Your demise will be your fault, too.) Enjoy stabbing and shooting one another on your front lawns, dipshits. I’ll be watching with my popcorn from Kiwiland.


Star-T Spins COVID to Suit Right-Wing Shittery

Honestly, no one I know outside of journalism reads the Star-T for anything other than sports, sometimes cops and courts, and the occasional COVID story. That’s it. However, I don’t live in Westover Hills or Southlake, where they’re probably cheering the paper’s rightward lurch. I sure as hell can’t stand it.

In this war for the soul of the nation — with one side espousing democracy and the other wanting to turn us into The Handmaid’s Tale — it’s a major publication’s duty to side with truth, justice, and equality, not whine about middling shit based mostly on a magic book from 70 A.D. I’m not saying I’m closed minded. I believe some of my opinions could be considered “conservative” by many of my progressive brothers and sisters. We can all debate many subjects. Contrary viewpoints are always welcome. Where we’ll differ is on major news organs wildly laying on the spin to satisfy their biases.

On the Star-T’s opinion page the other day, one of its newfangled “conservative” columnists contorted into mind-boggling shapes to argue on behalf of schools staying open — when no one, including President Joe Biden, has said or even suggested that they should be closed. That’s one dastardly little rhetorical trick common among right-wing bloviators: dragging out the ol’ strawman to pummel him to death. Watch out for them in the Star-T’s “op-spin-ion” pages as the midterms draw closer.

The writer also spins the numbers, claiming, “The data overwhelmingly shows that for the past two years, people younger than 18 rarely get serious cases of COVID, let alone die from it.”

An important little tidbit to add is that, while maybe the data “overwhelmingly” point to rare serious pediatric cases over the past two years, the past half-year is something else.

In the United States since the start of 2022, 179 children have died from COVID-19, when the virus claimed 735 young lives the entire previous 20 months, based on data from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP).

“It’s no longer fair even to insinuate that COVID doesn’t affect children, that COVID deaths are only in unhealthy children or kids with risk factors,” Jason Kane from the University of Chicago Comer children’s hospital told The Guardian. “That’s just not true, by the data.”

The AAP’s numbers are similar to the ones from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), meaning they’re doubly verifiable and no honest journalist would spin them.

The Star-T doesn’t care. The Star-T’s all about your freedumb and not living in fear, bro! — as you can imagine, that word appears twice in the column vis a vis the lockdown. The most extensive report on the subject, from the University of Michigan, “overwhelmingly shows” that locking down saved nearly 3 million lives. “But so many people lost their jobs!” the freedumb caucus cries. I’d rather be alive and unemployed than employed and dead.

In summary, don’t give into the fear … of dying from an incredibly contagious virus that has killed 6.15 million worldwide and 981,000 in the U.S. Just sit back, live your miserable life, and let natural immunity take hold. Or let COVID take hold of your lungs and end your ass. All because the guy standing in front of you in the checkout aisle or the people sitting next to you at the restaurant are so brave and righteous they can’t place a lousy piece of fabric over their dumb faces. The mask is not to keep you from getting sick. It’s to keep you from unwittingly spreading the virus. Last month, the CDC said mandating facemasks in schools during the Delta wave helped reduce COVID cases by 24%.

Spin that, Star-T.


Place Your Beto

Finally, some good news. Democratic gubernatorial candidate Beto O’Rourke is essentially tied with Gov. Greg Abbott, based on a new statewide poll. Beto is behind the greedy crony lover by only 2%, well within the margin of error. Getting this close has been months in the making, as Beto has worked his ass off to go from being down by 15% in December to only 10% in early February and 7% in late February. The El Pasoan’s campaign is crediting the man’s unifying approach, focusing on issues that really matter to Texans, like expanding Medicaid, fixing the energy grid for good, and legalizing Mary Jane, rather than whining about which children can and can’t play sports and what books can or can’t be on school library shelves. Funny, but for a party like the GOP that claims to be all about freedom, their politicians sure do love micromanaging our lives.


This column reflects the opinions of the editorial board and not the Fort Worth Weekly. To submit a column, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Submissions will be edited for factuality and clarity.


  1. You sir…..are the hero we need but truly do not deserve. I wish you would run for office as I would campaign hard for you. Thank you for writing this. It really helps to know that not everyone in this state is insane. Imagine all of the hate comments this would get if Republicans could read and knew what the internet was. Please keep this content coming !!!

  2. Democrats have the White House, the Senate, and the House yet it’s Republicans who haven’t raised minimum wage, etc? Ok.

  3. Why is FW weekly so political all the time?? I mean every article is just tainted with politics… and the politics only go one way. Seriously, go write for The Young Turks or somebody, or stay and just tell us what is going on in the city that we all love without the overt political spin on literally everything, its exhausting.

  4. The Weekly’s whooping it up about the likelihood of Beto as governor brings to mind your similar crowing over Wendy Davis.

  5. Anthony your so right, Thankyou, Orange Man Bad!
    We need to protect our brothers and sisters from this biological attack on our country!! Lock downs, masking and virtual learning must happen to protect us all!!
    We will have to get ready for the primary’s post haste as well, we’re gonna have to be ready for mail in balloting, drop boxes placed strategically, and harvesting will need to happen to ensure the election is fair and goes off without a hitch. Sign me up Anthony

  6. Democrats hold the White House, Senate and House as mentioned earlier.
    Not to mention, that the defense spending bill was passed bipartisan. It’s awesome to shit on the GOP but the inaction right now isn’t merely about them.
    Look at the general gerrymandering and election-manipulating going on in Republican-controlled areas, all you will find is articles whining about it. The media and Democrats are yet to put up a campaign against the GOP’s machinations, they would rather keep telling us stories about doom and gloom while the right stages a slow coup.