Dumbest Timeline
When you hear someone is a “political content creator,” how bad do you gag? Is it a full-on almost-barf or just a little “ewww, can’t handle this right now”? For me, reading that some “political content creator” in Houston has threatened Texas Democrats’ best hope for a U.S. Senate seat with sitting out the election brought me to the edge of my toilet, my stomach churning, my lips foaming with spittle. Here you have James Talarico, a decent, honest, hardworking, good man, and his opposition on the right defines “slimy bastard.” And yet. And yet! Many Black Texans claim Sweet Baby James hasn’t kissed their ass hard enough and as a result may sit out the election or even vote for his opponent, Crooked Ken Paxton. *facepalm emoji*
If “self-own” were a voting bloc, it would be these warped, misguided backward-brains who somehow believe that crucifying themselves brings the entire Democratic party closer to enlightenment. Shit don’t work that way. Not only is the Dem establishment led by spineless, blood-money-hungry do-nothings, but you’re only hurting yourselves and every other group dying under the oppressive regime of Paxton, Gov. Greg Abbott, the rest of the Nazis in Austin, and all the chief Nazis in D.C. Put your obnoxious, nauseating ego away, grow a pair of balls/ovaries, and do what’s right for the common good — not for your objectively sophomoric “political content.”
“I’m not fixing to let your white moderates win,” said this “political content creator” via The Texas Tribune. “Because in 2028, we need to elect a new motherfucking president, and if you white moderates and you lowly ass fucking candidates like James Talarico keep pulling your shit, we’re going to end up with another fucking Trump.”
What one senator has to do with the election of a president is anyone’s guess, but there goes another unofficial spokesperson for the anti-Democratic, anti-common-sense wing of the Democratic party — eating ourselves is what we do best. And that is how you get “another fucking Trump,” not by voting for someone who isn’t a walking, talking pile of racism, sexism, bigotry, backdoor deals, and grift. Put the phone down. Grow up.
Down, Set, Tut-Tut
As if any more proof was needed that Ken Paxton is not only a terrible politician but a worse human being, he just accepted a huge not-a-bribe from some powerful MAGAt to help a college football team.
And the kid entered the NFL draft anyway. Thanks for beclowning yourself once again in public, Mr. Paxton, this time on my behalf, undoubtedly thought former Texas Tech quarterback Brendan Sorsby, who got busted gambling thousands of dollars on college football games, including his own, and was declared ineligible by the NCAA.
To fight to keep him on the field, Tech Board of Regents Chair Cody Campbell donated $275K to Paxton’s regressive U.S. Senate campaign against Dem wonderboy James Talarico. It’s among the most money Crooked Ken has received from any donor currently and reportedly among the highest that Campbell has ever shelled out to any statewide campaign.
What a coinkydink, then, that Texas Attorney General Paxton — fat donation firmly in greasy hand — went after the Big 12, warning the conference that not allowing the Lubbock institution to dress Sorsby would be “unlawful” and expose the conference to $200 million-plus in damages.
Sorry, but the third-biggest NCAA conference is not going to be pushed around by anyone, including the State of Texas and especially Crooked Ken. The Big 12 promptly sued Paxton, Tech, the Texas Tech University System, Chancellor Brandon Creighton, Texas Tech President Lawrence Schovanec, and Athletic Director Kirby Hocutt.
“The Big 12 and its member institutions … have no interest in being required to endorse or even appearing to endorse unethical and indeed unlawful conduct that strikes at the heart of athletic integrity,” the conference wrote in its complaint, whose chief argument is that Tech was infringing on the conference’s First Amendment rights to enforce its own rule of law.
Tech chair Campbell told the Star-Telegram that his not-untimely donation to Paxton was in no way underhanded or intended to sway anyone and was born only of support for the AG’s senate campaign. Between this April and June, Crooked Ken has raised three times less than Sweet Baby James, who’s sitting on a cool $30 million. However. The two candidates are statistically tied, with Talarico enjoying only a slight lead in most polls. Back to Blacks against James: Please, don’t vote for unlimited diarrhea (Paxton) when soft, downy comfort (Talarico) is only a punched button away.
Addiction is serious, and we’re glad Sorsby received the treatment he needed. We wish him the best in his pro football career.
Now, for a genuine LOL, Campbell released a statement after Sorsby skedaddled, and it’s full of more b.s. than West Texas ranchland.
“The bottom line,” the Tech chair wrote, “is that Texas Tech did absolutely nothing but act with complete integrity through this entire process.” *snicker* “We broke no rules, no laws, and crossed no ethical lines.” The lies! They burn! “We are proud to represent a university that supports its students the way that we do.” By making the whole literate world hate them? Got it.
R.I.P. Lorenzo Salgado Araujo
Hundreds recently gathered on Houston’s East Side for the funeral of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo, a 52-year-old father of three and construction worker shot dead by ICE on July 7.
The family said they did not know a vast majority of the attendees.
“How could we not show up and be here?” said visitor Luke Orlando, who did not know Salgado Araujo personally but lives near where ICE killed him. “It could have been any of us, any of our neighbors.”
Since the start of Donald Trump’s second term in January, encounters with ICE and other immigration agents have resulted in at least 10 deaths, including two in Maine and Florida just days after Salgado Araujo’s fatal shooting by ICE.
ICE claimed Salgado Araujo attempted to use the vehicle he was driving to ram the agent who discharged his weapon allegedly in self-defense, but many witnesses contradict ICE’s version of events and a statement by the U.S. attorney for the Southern District of Texas does not mention any collision between Salgado Araujo’s vehicle and any other vehicle while also never explicitly saying that any officers, including the gunman, feared for their lives.
Salgado Araujo loved soccer and his construction job. At the funeral home, his white hard hat, work gloves, tape measures, and a toolbox sat on a greeting table that also displayed his soccer memorabilia and two of his Team Mexico jerseys. A Houston Eastsider for more than three decades, Salgado Araujo put his three sons through college via his construction business. May justice be served.
This column reflects the opinions of the editorial board and not the Fort Worth Weekly. To submit a column, please email Editor Anthony Mariani at Anthony@FWWeekly.com. He will gently edit it for clarity and concision.
