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How to Not Strangle Your Roommate During Quarantine
The world is on fire. For the first time in history, our planet is on lockdown, and we are quarantined to our homes and...
Social Distance Running
Chicken Little’s tale regarding the sky falling seems like a best-case scenario as of late. The 2020 Summer Olympics have now been postponed, so...
Digital Releases
The coronavirus has changed the way a lot of businesses now have to conduct business to stay in business. For movie studios, it’s releasing...
Tiger King
It’s the other thing that everyone is talking about lately. Out of nowhere, I kept seeing memes about a gaudily dressed man who made...
Slaying Salvation
The Earth is literally on fire, satanic pentagrams ablaze across continents, while the screams of people as demons attack play over emergency broadcasts. The...
Closing Time
In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy: “Well, that escalated quickly.” Normally, hindsight is 20/20, yet I’m confident few really saw this coming. The...
Ask Truman
Q. Why the fuck does everyone need a safe space all of a sudden?
— FJRDH, Wedgwood, Fort Worth
Ed. note: Because people like me are around.
A....
Retrospective
If you aren’t Texas senator Ted Cruz, who is self-quarantined from Covid-19 fears with only Fox News as his outlet to the world, you’re...
Reality Gigabytes
We love our phones. But we hate our phones. We love them because they’re ours and we probably have an intractable sense of ownership...
Atonement
Unreliable sources confirmed the pews of Waco were full on Sunday. All were attending to gain forgiveness for unknown sins which caused the Almighty...
