The world’s most famous porn star comes to town.

Well, it would take something big to knock both Fortress Festival and the Fort Worth Opera out of this column, and we’ve got it. The most consequential porn star of all time comes to town when Stormy Daniels takes the stage at Bucks Wild, so RZA and Donizetti can take a back seat (see: Saturday and Tuesday blurbs). Sadly, it appears that Daniels won’t be discussing her gross dealings with our gross president. Rather, she’ll just be performing on stage, because that $130,000 of hush money she got from Michael Cohen isn’t going to pay itself back.

In all seriousness, some prissy types who weren’t convinced by Daniels’ poised appearance on 60 Minutes might say that she’s only doing this for publicity or financial gain. Even if that’s the case, we’re totally here for it, and if the star of Love Potion 69 and Operation: Desert Stormy winds up bringing down Trump’s presidency, it’ll cement her place as our latest feminist hero. Laissez les bon temps rouler, as the Baton Rouge native would say. Oh, and if you happen to see special counsel Robert Mueller in the audience at Bucks Wild, buy that man a drink. You want to be the fly on the wall when he finally sits down to a formal interview with Stormy.

Stormy Daniels performs 7pm-2am Fri at Bucks Wild, 5316 Superior Pkwy, FW. Tickets are $30-200. Call 817-626-9000.