We’re Not Going Home!
A new tradition has begun in this year’s playoff run for the Dallas Stars: After each victory, a giant Flavor Flav-style medallion depicting the...
Social Distance Running
Chicken Little’s tale regarding the sky falling seems like a best-case scenario as of late. The 2020 Summer Olympics have now been postponed, so...
The “Eyes of Texas” Sucks
To all you UT alums, students, and lovers, I’m just here to say that quite a few of your boosters are snowflakes who want...
OU Shouldn’t Have
The final narrative of the 2019 college football season is set: Tiger v. Tiger for the national title. Defending champion Clemson slept through the...
Luka Porn
I often picture Mavs superstar forward Luka Dončić decked out in a velour tracksuit opened just enough at the top so the imposing gold chains...
Enter the Bubbles
In this flaming trash receptacle of a year, anno domini 20 and 10 times two, there’s been basically Bo Diddley squat to be excited...
Hello, Darkness, My Old Friend
This past Sunday, all was set for an absolutely glorious local sports day. Beautiful spring weather, coals glowing on the grill, plenty of suds...
Missed Connections
“You were powerful, Canadian, and wearing a black jersey with an orange number 30 on it. We flirted for more than half an hour...
Not A Tough Call
This year’s Texas high school football state championship games wrap up this weekend. When I say “this year’s,” of course, I really mean “last...
Closing Time
In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy: “Well, that escalated quickly.” Normally, hindsight is 20/20, yet I’m confident few really saw this coming. The...