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We’re Not Going Home!

A new tradition has begun in this year’s playoff run for the Dallas Stars: After each victory, a giant Flavor Flav-style medallion depicting the...

The “Eyes of Texas” Sucks

To all you UT alums, students, and lovers, I’m just here to say that quite a few of your boosters are snowflakes who want...

Social Distance Running

Chicken Little’s tale regarding the sky falling seems like a best-case scenario as of late. The 2020 Summer Olympics have now been postponed, so...

Luka Porn

I often picture Mavs superstar forward Luka Dončić decked out in a velour tracksuit opened just enough at the top so the imposing gold chains...

OU Shouldn’t Have

The final narrative of the 2019 college football season is set: Tiger v. Tiger for the national title. Defending champion Clemson slept through the...

The Hero We Don’t Deserve

The Sonny Dykes era has started more successfully than most could have imagined. He’s undefeated as a head coach, and the Frogs just downed...

Hello, Darkness, My Old Friend

This past Sunday, all was set for an absolutely glorious local sports day. Beautiful spring weather, coals glowing on the grill, plenty of suds...

Dust Storm

Like a plant-based burger or ERCOT’s latest failure to manage our power grid, the truth can be hard to swallow. I’m generally a lie-to-me-if-you-love-me...

Enter the Bubbles

In this flaming trash receptacle of a year, anno domini 20 and 10 times two, there’s been basically Bo Diddley squat to be excited...

Who Could Have Predicted It? Only Everyone

The NFL offseason is long. Even with the league’s year-round grip on sports media attention — in which now even the draft is a...